Not Even Lions Live Forever
by Crimson1
Summary: This is something I wanted to work on for quite some time. Squall and the others are about to head down a path I don't believe anyone has sent them down beforelosing their lion in the least likely way. Please R&R!
1. Part One

NOT EVEN LIONS LIVE FOREVER  
  
It has been over a year since our six young heroes saved the world. Squall and Rinoa are closer than ever, and Rinoa is now a full-fledged SeeD; Selphie remains in control of the Garden Festival (only a few weeks away); Irvine is going for his instructor's license after becoming a SeeD alongside Rinoa; Zell runs the Training Center after getting _his _instructor's licence, and he and the pig-tail girl from the library are practically inseparable; Quistis got her instructor's license back immediately after defeating the sorceress and is teaching better than ever; and as for Seifer and his posse, they have all been happily back at the Garden for quite some time, and are all three members of SeeD. They even patched things up with Squall and _his _posse.  
  
With the sorceress defeated, SeeD in top condition, the world in utter harmony, and even old enemies becoming friends, what could possibly go wrong?  
  
More than any of them could ever imagine.

-----  
  
Moonlight filtered in through Squall's dorm room window, shimmering across the still, beautiful face of his sleeping lioness. It was near three in the morning, but Squall was wide awake. He just couldn't tear his gaze away from Rinoa's peaceful form long enough to fall asleep.

One could often find them sleeping in each other's arms at night, if not at least sleeping in each other's rooms. Their intentions were completely innocent, however. Both felt very strongly about waiting to "further their relationship" until after they were married. They merely found more comfort in being together than in those unbearable moments apart.  
  
At the moment, Squall was counting his blessings. Something he so seldom had been able to do in the past. (I must be dreaming to have found such breathtaking scenery.) Squall thought with a small smile. (All my life I pushed away any chances at sharing a real relationship with someone. Friends, those trying to be family, and especially love like this...)  
  
"You melted a frozen heart, angel." Squall whispered, bending his head to kiss Rinoa softly. "I love you..."  
  
Squall laid back upon the bed, satisfied and at peace as he closed his eyes. (I must be the luckiest man in the world...)

-----  
  
Sunlight had long ago begun to penetrate the cold, steel walls of Balamb Garden, but the shades were still drawn on many of the dorm room windows, especially in the darkened quarters of the SeeD Commander.  
  
Squall awoke lazily, content to sleep at least a little of the day away. Unfortunately, as he curled up for an extra forty winks, he remembered that Dr. Kadowaki would be expecting him before 10am. Squall had taken his annual physical a few days before, and the results would be in today. Dr. Kadowaki always liked to go over things just in case there was anything wrong. As much as Squall hated the whole thing, he knew that Dr. Kadowaki would be hounding him all day if he didn't go, just like she always did when he tried to get out of things like this.  
  
Squall sighed in defeat, mumbling to himself as he sat up and rubbed his blue-gray eyes groggily. He yawned and ran a hand through his tousled, brown hair, looking down at Rinoa while stretching to help wake himself more fully. To his surprise, she wasn't there. Instead, he found a small note lying on her pillow. Squall snatched it up and read:  
  
_Squall, gone shopping with the girls. Be back this afternoon.__Love, Rinoa.  
_  
"Great," Squall grumbled, "Might as well get up and head over to the Infirmary."  
  
He swung his legs out of bed and headed into the bathroom for a nice, cold shower. If he had to sit through another one of Dr. Kadowaki's lectures on how he needs to "watch his stress level" and "stop being so tense all the time", he was at least going to be awake to complain about it.

-----  
  
The Garden awoke slowly on a Saturday morning, even one as beautiful as this one. The sun was shining with a soft, heavenly glow, and the birds were singing like it was the first day of Spring. Even stoic, basic-black Squall Leonheart had to take notice of nature's magnificence on a day like this. It made him regret even more that he had to spend such a lovely morning stuck in an office discussing his health.  
  
Squall entered the Infirmary with a kind smile, nonetheless. He may not enjoy dealing with things like this, but he had alot of respect for Dr. Kadowaki and would at least try to be courteous.  
  
The doctor had her chair turned away from Squall as he entered, and hadn't noticed he had arrived. She seemed to be pondering over something, and it took Squall a minute to decide that he was going to have to interrupt her thoughts to get her attention.  
  
"Umm...Dr. Kadowaki?" he said simply, "Squall Leonheart, here for my follow up on the physical I took Wednesday."  
  
Her head jerked up at the sound of his voice. "S-Squall...oh...you're here..." She appeared shaken about something, and looked rather pale as she turned towards him. "...sit down, would you? And for the last time, you don't have to be so formal with me."  
  
Squall would have smiled at the comment--he did have trouble breaking old habits--but something was obviously bothering her and Squall didn't like it one bit. "Is there something wrong, Doctor?" he asked, ignoring her request for him to sit.  
  
She didn't answer. She looked as if she was struggling for the right words, but couldn't decide on any that were acceptable.  
  
"What is it?" Squall pressed. "Has something happened? Is everything alright?" He was just beginning to notice the red-rimmed eyes behind her glasses when he realized she must have been crying.  
  
"Squall...please sit down." she repeated. It seemed like the only thing she could bring herself to say.  
  
This time, Squall obeyed, concern washing away his recently light-hearted features. "What?" he asked hesitantly.  
  
She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes, but answered, "It's about the results of your physical."  
  
"Oh," he replied, smiling again, "Let me guess; still so stressed I'll probably die of a heart-attack before I'm 40, right?"  
  
Dr. Kadowaki didn't return his good humor, but seemed even more pained by the comment. "This is serious, Squall. Very serious."  
  
Squall lost his smile in a second, "What do you mean?"  
  
Lifting her gaze to look him straight in the face, despite how hard it was for her, she replied. "You're dying, Squall."

to be continued...


	2. Part Two

There are moments in your life when time seems to stand still and hold its breath for fear of moving forward. Squall Leonheart had gone through more than his share of moments like that in the past, but this moment took Fate herself by surprise.  
  
"...what?" Squall breathed. The color had drained from his face and a dull cold began to consume his senses, causing his whole body to tremble. "What do you mean, I'm dying?"  
  
Dr. Kadowaki had to turn her head away. "You have a rare gene, Squall, that when dormant is harmless, but...when activated causes a disease known as Neffira Syndrome." she stated slowly. "It's very rare itself and frankly we don't know much about it, not even what causes its activation."  
  
Squall was staring blankly, digesting what she said, but looking like he was a million miles away.  
  
"It affects the brain, confusing it as to what signals it should send where and when to the body's systems." she continued. "Eventually it will stop sending signals to those systems completely, and...your body will shut down."  
  
Squall held up his hand for her to stop, his eyes clenched shut as he tried to grasp what all this meant. "I'm...I'm just going to fade away...?" Squall asked weakly. "And there's nothing I can do about it?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Squall." Dr. Kadowaki replied sorrowfully. "We just don't know enough about it to--"  
  
"Are you sure?!" He cried out, cutting her off. "I mean, this gene...you're positive...?"  
  
She nodded in confirmation. "I'm positive, Squall. Don't you think I would go over those results a million times to be sure?"  
  
(Of course she would...) Squall thought. (But...I have to be dreaming. This can't be real. It can't. I've finally found everything I was missing in my life for so long...)  
  
"...you don't even know what caused this...?" he asked softly.  
  
She turned her gaze to him once again, trying to be brave and calm, for his sake. "What activates the gene? No." she replied. "But the gene itself is hereditary--"  
  
"Wait," Squall stopped her again. "You mean one of my parents has the same gene?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Squall had to take a moment to register that. Of course it had to be true, it made the most sense, but it meant so much more to Squall to realize that fact.  
  
Not long after defeating Ultimecia, Laguna had contacted Squall to talk to him about...the truth. Finding out that Laguna was his father had been difficult to accept at first, but after a few long talks, some cooling off, and spending some actual time together, things hadn't turned out so bad. Squall still called him President Loire or Laguna, and they didn't get to spend as much time with one another as both would have liked, but they had acquired a sort of bond. They met when they could--talked, laughed, cried. Oftentimes, Laguna would tell Squall about his mother. Raine Leonheart Loire had been an amazing woman, and both Loire boys felt partially responsible for her death.

Now, it seemed that one of Squall parents might be inadvertently responsible for his.  
  
"Which parent?" Squall asked carefully.  
  
"I checked into that." Dr. Kadowaki replied. "I wasn't able to get a hold of any medical records for your mother. Winhill isn't exactly the most technologically advanced village. But I contacted the head of the medical department at Esthar's Presidential Palace, and I was able to get your father's--"  
  
"You told him?!" Squall asked angrily.  
  
"Of course not." she assured him. "The doctor there and I are old friends. He owes me a few favors from times back, so I was able to convince him to pass along the information without informing the president."  
  
Squall took alot of relief in that. He didn't want Laguna to know about this, or anyone for that matter. At least not yet. "Thank you..." Squall said sincerely. "So, what did you find out?"  
  
"Well," she began, "There were no traces of the gene present in your father, so, even without seeing your mothers records, I know that the gene must have come from her."  
  
Squall shook his head, "That can't be. I've never heard anything that said she showed signs of this syndrome you're talking about."  
  
"That only means that it hadn't been activated." Dr. Kadowaki countered. "Actually..." She paused, seeming unsure of her next statement.  
  
"What?" Squall pressed.  
  
"Well, I believe it was activated in her at some point." She began. "You see, in most cases of this disease, the gene activates after a period of high stress or extreme emotional strain. Not in all cases, but in most."  
  
"What are you trying to say?" Squall pushed, not liking where he believed this was going.  
  
The doctor looked at him squarely again, trying to remain collected. "Your mother died in child birth, that we know, but the cause is something we don't know." She took a breath. "I believe that with the absence of your father during the time she went into labor, and with the sudden labor itself...that the strain of everything may have caused the gene to activate and accelerate the affects of the syndrome."  
  
"Hold it!" Squall called out. "Are you saying that it's because of me? She died from that syndrome, that gene, because I was born...?"  
  
"No, Squall!" She answered furiously. "Don't you dare think that! There's no telling whether that's why she died, or if it's true, whether the same thing wouldn't have happened later on from something else."  
  
He calmed a little, but the thought of being the reason Raine died...he couldn't shake it.  
  
"I only mentioned it because if it _was _the emotional stress that activated the gene in Raine, than that might be what activated it in you."  
  
(Ultimecia...?) Squall thought (That time warp...losing Rinoa...I did almost die...)  
  
"But it's been almost a year since then." Squall countered. "If it activated from that whole mess with the sorceress then why haven't I felt any affects so far?"  
  
Dr. Kadowaki sighed. "The rate at which the syndrome works is very unpredictable and varies from person to person, so--"  
  
"So, I could go years without suffering from any of the symptoms?" Squall said hopefully.  
  
The doctor seemed at a loss for words again. To her, this was like handing out a death sentence to one of her own children. "I'm afraid not, Squall." she replied slowly. "Not in your case."  
  
Squall's hopes were crushed anew. "Then...how long? How much time do I have?"  
  
When you're young, you feel like you could live forever, and most of the time, you plan on doing just that. As a student of the Garden, Squall had learned to accept death. He had prepared for it, waited for it, even expected it at some points in his life. But he had changed so much over the past year. It's not that he was afraid to die, or afraid to feel the pain of the disease. He had lived through enough pain to know that he could survive that. Squall Leonheart was afraid of being dead. Afraid of losing the friends he had finally let share his life, the father that he was just beginning to know, the person inside himself that he was just beginning to know, and...Rinoa. He especially couldn't bear the thought of losing her. No amount of time would have been long enough to spend his life with her, even if he still had 50 years ahead of him.

Unfortunately, he wasn't going to come even close to that.  
  
"Judging from the rate at which the syndrome is working so far, you could begin feeling the affects as soon as next week, maybe tomorrow, maybe by the next minute."  
  
"How long?" Squall asked again.  
  
Dr. Kadowaki struggled to keep herself from crying. She had completely broken down when she'd realized what Squall was about to go through. But she had to keep strong, for him. "Truthfully..." she began. "...a year. Probably less."  
  
Squall felt like he had taken his own gunblade in the chest. (A year...?) he thought unbearably. (Oh, God...no...)  
  
Squall collapsed into his hands, openly sobbing at the thought of losing so much when he had foolishly begun to take it all for granted. Just the other night he had been counting his blessings. Now, all he could count was grief.  
  
Dr. Kadowaki rose slowly from her chair and came around the desk beside him. It was so hard for her to stay in control, especially seeing proud, strong Squall Leonheart in tears, but she wouldn't let him lose hope.

A year was still a year.  
  
"Don't let this consume you, Squall," she soothed. "We can make the best of this. We can--"  
  
"Make the best of this!?!" he cried, shooting up out of his chair and causing Doctor Kadowaki to stumble back. "I'm dying!! How can I make the best of that!?" Tears were pouring down his face, so much rage and emotion coursing through him.

Dr. Kadowaki felt lost. "Squall, please..." she tried, reaching out to him.  
  
"No!" Squall called, pulling away. "I...I n-need...to get out of here..." He backed away towards the door, trembling all over, and nearly toppled over backwards.  
  
"Squall, listen to me." the doctor began carefully. "We need to talk about this, get the others in here to help you through this. Quistis, Zell, Rinoa--"  
  
"No!" Squall screamed. "I don't...want any of them to know about this..." He reached the door, stumbling out of it as it opened before him.  
  
"Squall, you can't keep this from them!" Dr. Kadowaki called after him, but he had already started to run, trying so desperately to outrun something he couldn't see or fight, but that was eating away at him from inside, where he had no control.  
  
"I don't care!!" Squall yelled back as he ran.  
  
(...I don't care...)

tbc...  
  
A/N: Well, that was part two. Still, want me to keep going? I hope so, cause I'm really liking this so far, but I still need your imput.  
  
The disease I made up. I figured it wouldn't be right to give him something that was from our world; cancer, aids, etc. It needed to be something else, and this disease seemed like the perfect way to go about this. As for the name, it came out of the blue.  
  
Some of you have said, "People have killed Squall in other fics," which is true, but that's not what I meant by doing something different. How many people have given Squall a disease, in a non-humorous way? Besides, how do you know he's going to die? I already know the outcome myself, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give anything away.  
  
Well, I hope you're all enjoying this, cause if you are then I'll keep writing it. Please review. :-)


	3. Part Three

Squall was blinded by emotion as he ran, trying to escape a reality he couldn't face.

When Dr. Kadowaki first said those brutal words, "You're dying, Squall," he had been shocked, of course, but it hadn't felt real. The more they talked about it the more he realized what it all meant, and the realization is what pushed him over the edge. He just couldn't take the thought of losing everyone, of losing Rinoa. If the doctor had told him he would live another 15 years of pure agony he could have accepted that more easily than knowing he only had one year left of slowly shutting down.

That's just the way Squall was; a fighter. When faced with a problem he had always been able to fight his way through it. But how could he fight this? There was no treatment, no cure, no hope. There was nothing he could do but sit back and watch himself slip away. How could he accept that? How could the mighty lion lay down his sword in defeat? He couldn't. He just couldn't accept it. And so he ran. Past the few students who stood in his path, past the last flashes of blue and white as he raced from the Garden, not knowing where he was heading, nor really where he belonged.  
  
Clouds were beginning to form overhead, seeming to come out of no where as they blocked out the merciless sun. There was a chill in the air, forcing the beauty of the morning away as the cruel day changed shape in honor of one of its own.

Between his ragged breaths, Squall smelled rain...  
  
He stopped running. Taking a look at his surroundings, he finally realized where his tired legs had carried him. The flat land stretching out behind him, rock and dirt with no grass in sight. There was a cliff in front of him that looked out over the ocean, and with the smell of the rain the memories of his last time here seemed all too real. He hadn't been back to this place since. Not since that fateful morning when two rivals exchanged mirrored scars.  
  
Squall's emotions were raging inside of him, forcing the tears to continue flowing down his grief-stricken features. It was just too much. Squall fell to his knees, gasping for air.

"What have I accomplished since that day?" Squall sobbed. "What was it all for!? What did any of it matter?!" He slammed his fist into the dusty ground, causing the dirt to swirl up around him, though he barely noticed. "All my life I lived inside a shell, suffering through every fucking day?! What was it all for!? To lose everything when I finally became someone I thought I could be proud of...?" He threw his head back, screaming at the overcast sky, "What have I done to deserve this!?! What have I done..."

His words were broken by bitter thoughts and memories, leaving behind his whimpered cries.  
  
"...I _do _deserve this, don't I...?" he said hopelessly, collapsing back into the dirt. "...I killed my mother, after all. I hurt so many people for so long. What ever made me think I had any right to even breathe the same air as the rest of the world...?"  
  
Squall toppled back, sobbing harshly, agonizingly, as the first drops of rain began to fall.  
  
-----  
  
He had come back to that spot almost everyday since his return to Garden. Being there reminded him of something he didn't want to forget. It brought back all the memories of what he had done, who he had betrayed, and who he had hurt. Looking in the mirror every morning and seeing that scar was certainly a reminder in itself, but being out at that spot alone helped the hurt inside him heal so much more.  
  
Seifer Almasy had gone out to that spot on this beautiful morning, as well. He had climbed partially down the cliff to watch the sunrise, and even after its warmth had spread out over the land, he had still stood there watching. Barely even noticing the clouds as they moved in over the sky, he really hadn't been seeing much of anything at that point, being too far gone in thought. What finally _did _break his silent brooding, was the sharp cries of anger that rose up from the valley above him.  
  
He didn't recognize the voice at first, but it hadn't taken him long to realize it belonged to his long lost rival and adversary. He finally registered the change in weather when the rain began to fall around him as he climbed back up onto the cliff.  
  
-----  
  
The rain fell softly around Squall, washing away his tears as he drowned within them. He was so caught up in misery and self-loathing he didn't notice the figure who was slowly approaching him.  
  
Seifer really didn't know what he was doing. Sure, he and Squall had called it even and vowed not to try and rip each other apart anymore, but that's as far as it had really gone. Both always did their best to avoid one another, despite the insistence of their friends that they should try and get along. As far as they were concerned, staying the hell out of each other's way was as close to "getting along" as they were ever going to get. So, if Squall was having some emotional crisis, why would he ever want Seifer Almasy to be the one to try and cheer him up? If he wanted to be cheered up he would have gone to one of his friends. Coming all the way out here said that what he wanted was to be left the hell alone. Still, Seifer didn't try and slip away back to the Garden unnoticed. He felt almost obligated to figure out what was wrong with Squall.  
  
(He's changed more than anyone since that mess a year ago...) Seifer thought as he approached. (If something was wrong, he'd go to Rinoa, or Quistis, or someone else in a second. He wouldn't try to deal with it all on his own anymore...would he?)

"Enjoyin' the rain?" Seifer asked casually, plopping himself down next to Squall.  
  
Squall's reaction was anything but casual. He sat up sharply, glaring at Seifer in surprise and a deeply angered sense of invasion. "Seifer?! What the hell are you doing here?!" he demanded through clenched teeth.  
  
"Just thought you could use some company," Seifer replied calmly.  
  
Squall turned away from him, wiping at his tear-stained cheeks furiously. The last thing he wanted was for _Seifer _to see him like this. "Go away! I don't need any company, and I certainly wouldn't want yours!"  
  
Seifer got the message, but that didn't mean he was going to give up so easily. "Point well taken and ignored," he replied with a smile. "I'm not going anywhere. At least not 'till you tell me why you're sitting here in the dirt, crying and screaming like the world's gonna end,"  
  
Squall cringed in annoyance. Why did Seifer have to be so damn observant? "None of your business!" he shot back, "It doesn't concern you,"  
  
"Squall, look," Seifer began, "I know we're not exactly best friends here, but something's really bothering you. Something you didn't think you could talk about with your real friends. That says to me; you need an impartial sounding board. So go ahead, lay it on me. What's wrong?"  
  
Squall shook his head, still facing away from Seifer. (What does he care? I'm not one of his posse. We never even talk to each other) Squall thought harshly. (...sounding board, though? I don't know. What does it matter...?)  
  
Squall slowly turned back to face Seifer, who was looking at him expectantly with genuine concern. He cast his gaze down and sighed. "...it's about the results of my physical," he admitted, barely above a whisper.  
  
"Is _that _what this is all about?" Seifer asked incredulously. "What, your cholesterol's too high or something? Probably from too many hot-dogs on the side with chicken-wuss!" he laughed.  
  
"This isn't a joke, Seifer!" Squall snapped. "It's serious!"  
  
Seifer's laughter stopped immediately. "What do you mean, serious?" he asked. "How serious?"  
  
Half of Squall really didn't want to talk about this, especially with Seifer, but the other half was just aching to tell someone, longing to have someone else understand. And he just wasn't ready to tell the others.

Besides, Seifer did seem sincere.  
  
"I met with Dr. Kadowaki a little less than an hour ago." Squall explained. "She told me that I have an...illness...a syndrome..."  
  
"What kind of syndrome?" Seifer prompted carefully.  
  
Squall turned to look at Seifer, right between those turquoise eyes. "A fatal one."  
  
If they had been standing, Seifer would have taken a step back. He had cooked up a million reasons for why Squall was so miserable. But he never imagined it was something like this. "...you...you're dying...?" Seifer whispered in disbelief.  
  
Squall didn't have to say anything, the truth was plainly written on his face, and Seifer was at just as much of a loss over this as he was.  
  
(This can't be) Seifer thought. (Squall can't die...)  
  
Such a phrase uttered by Seifer Almasy is almost laughable. Or at least it would have been a little over a year ago. Right?  
  
(We fought so many times. So many times where either of us would have killed the other if it had come to it, right?) Seifer questioned himself. (We never really got that far, did we? I'd like to think that I wouldn't have been able to do it, and I'd like to think it would've been the same for him. I guess there's no way to know...)  
  
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the others don't know about this yet, right?"  
  
Squall nodded.  
  
"And, the doc, she's sure about all this?"  
  
Squall nodded again and turned his gaze up at the cold, grey sky.  
  
"So, I'll ask it again..." Seifer began, with as much of a smile as he could muster. "What are you doing out here in the dirt, in the rain, crying and screaming all by yourself, instead of facing this like any other monster that's stood in your path before?"  
  
Squall chuckled softly at the question.  
  
"As one of those monsters..." Seifer continued. "...I know what you're capable of. You can beat this. Even if you can't, you can stare it full in the face and prove you can get through it. Maybe you are dying, but you're not dead yet,"  
  
"I have a year," Squall stated emotionlessly, crushing Seifer's great attempt at making everything better. "A year if I'm lucky." Squall laughed cruelly, "And you know how well my luck lasts."  
  
"So what?" Seifer said, without batting an eyelash. "A year is a lifetime. I would give anything if I could take back that year with the sorceress. Don't let yourself regret this year, Squall. Make it count, and it'll be the longest year of your life."  
  
Squall sat there silently, his eyes closed.

Seifer didn't know if he was thinking over what he had said or just wondering why Seifer hadn't left yet, but he didn't care. (Actually, if my regretting that year means it's gonna be easier for you to get through this...) Seifer thought (...then I'd never take it back.)  
  
Squall _was _thinking over what Seifer had said. Thinking it over desperately. (He's right, isn't he?) Squall thought. (If this is going to be my last year, how can I sit here and waste what time I have? I should be there at the Garden when Rinoa and the girls get back. I should be there with all of them everyday I have left on this earth, and I should cherish what I can do with each of those days instead of wallowing in all this guilt I've created for myself.)  
  
Squall opened his eyes. For the first time in all of his sorrow over this, he opened them full. "Seifer..." he whispered. "...thank you. I owe you so--"  
  
"You owe me nothing," Seifer cut in. "Maybe we said we were even before, but if you're gonna go back to that Garden, back to the friends who love you, and if you're gonna go there to deal with this, then now I can believe it."  
  
Seifer stood up from the ground, rain water dripping from his trench coat as he did, and held out his hand for Squall.  
  
Both had forgotten the rain as they talked, but it was the rain that watched two old enemies--enemies who had once battled on that very spot beneath its watchful eye--grasp each other's arms in friendship and walk together back to Balamb Garden.

tbc...  
  
A/N: (wiping a tear away) Well, there's the next part, and oh was it fun to write! I hope you guys are bearing with me through this, cause I'm posting as fast as I write it, but I'm a busy girl. My goal, though, is to have this whole thing finished by the end of this long, Thanksgiving weekend. Pray for me. Also, Please Review!


	4. Part Four

The rain was still falling outside Balamb Garden, but it was a soft, calming rain. The kind of rain that lures children out under the clouds and splashing through inviting puddles. It gave Squall comfort to watch the rain fall upon the ground as he looked out of his dorm room window, waiting for the last of his friends and loved ones to join him.  
  
There was Seifer with his posse, Zell and his pig-tail girl, Irvine, Selphie, Rinoa, Dr. Kadowaki, Cid, Edea, and at last Quistis. It was quite a feat to fit so many in Squall's tiny room, but he wouldn't have had them meet anywhere else.  
  
They all looked to Squall expectantly, wondering what all this chaos was about, and why he hadn't wanted them to tell anyone else of their meeting.  
  
Squall looked to Seifer for support, the only one other than Dr. Kadowaki who knew what this fateful meeting was about. Seifer returned Squall's gaze with much sympathy, and with a deep breath Squall knew he had to begin. "I guess that's everyone," he said meekly. "So, I suppose you're wondering why I asked all of you here?"  
  
There was a round of agreement, and pleading glances for him to continue.  
  
"Squall, please, tell us what's going on?" Rinoa prompted fretfully.  
  
He closed his eyes in distress, but knew he had to tell them the truth. "Dr. Kadowaki and Seifer already know what this is about," Squall admitted. "It's because of Seifer that I'm trying to tell you this at all, and I still don't know if I can..."  
  
"Come on, Squall," Seifer said comfortingly. "You can do this. You have to tell them."  
  
The others become more and more anxious, and Rinoa looked positively stricken. Squall couldn't keep them in suspense anymore. "I met with Dr. Kadowaki this morning to go over the results of my physical." Squall began, struggling with every syllable. "She discovered that I have...a very rare disease. One that doesn't have a cure."  
  
"What are ya gettin' at, man?" Zell interrupted, dreading where this was leading along with everyone else.  
  
"This disease, this syndrome..." Squall continued, struggling to hold back his tears more and more with each word. "...it interferes with the brains signals to parts of the body. It works haphazardly, so I don't even know what systems will be affected when or how, but eventually..." Squall paused. He couldn't say it. He didn't want to hurt them. He just wished that this was all going to end up being some horrible nightmare, and that he would wake up safe and sound in Rinoa's arms.

But fate isn't that kind. Sadly, the world is a cruel place, and even if hurting them was the last thing Squall wanted, he was about to break their hearts.  
  
"Squall...?" Rinoa choked out through the tears that had begun to fill her deep, brown eyes. It killed Squall to see her cry.  
  
"I'm so sorry...Rinoa..." Squall said through tears of his own, reaching out to her, though she pulled away, shaking her head at the truth she felt coming. "All I wanted was to be able to spend the rest of our lives together...but I...I'm..." he swallowed back his tears. "...I'm dying..."  
  
Rinoa clutched her hands to her face, her entire body trembling. Time seemed to stop as a painstaking silence fell over the room, and everyone took in what had been said.  
  
Squall wanted so much to take Rinoa in his arms and never let her go, but when he reached out for her again, she backed away completely. She turned, pushing her way through the others, and fled the room, with angel's tears streaming down her porcelain face.  
  
Squall clenched his eyes shut from the pain, struggling to keep his legs from chasing after her.  
  
"Go, Squall," he heard a voice say. "It's alright, mate. Go after her."  
  
Squall opened his eyes, and couldn't find a dry eye in the room. It had been Irvine who told him to go, and he knew they all understood that even though he wanted to be there with all of them, he had to go after Rinoa.  
  
He cast a heartfelt glance about the room before dashing out the door to find her.  
  
Silence settled over those left alone. They couldn't believe that what he just said was the truth.  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki?" Cid began, breaking that silence. "All he said...you're absolutely sure?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Cid, everyone." she answered softly. "I went over those results again and again, but there's no denying it. The disease is real and incurable. There's nothing we can do but try our best to make what time Squall has as memorable and comfortable as we can."  
  
"How long does he have?" Quistis asked suddenly.  
  
Dr. Kadowaki looked over at her sorrowfully, knowing that these next words would hit them all very hard. "I really can't say for sure; the disease works differently in different people..." she replied. "...but...judging from its progress in Squall so far, I'm afraid he doesn't have much time. Maybe he'll last another year, maybe he won't live out the month. There's no way to know..."  
  
"Then how do you know he won't live another ten years?!" Selphie cried. "What if it works really slow, and he--"  
  
"I'm sorry," the doctor cut her off. "From what we do know about this disease, I'm sure he can't last more than that. It's possible to overestimate, but not underestimate. Not with this,"  
  
The room grew silent again. As much as they were all wishing it all away, there really was nothing they could do. The harsh truth is, not even lions live forever, and their lion wasn't going to live much longer at all.  
  
Time passed slowly in the little room, and none seemed able to leave it.  
  
Selphie had collapsed into Irvine's arms, the pig-tail girl was stroking Zell's hair as _she _held _him_, Cid and Edea had their arms around each other with Dr. Kadowaki trying to offer what support she could, and the rest just stood stunned. Raijin had his arm around Fuujin, a rather brave gesture, but Seifer and Quistis stood alone. Quistis looked pale and lifeless, as if she had just been given her own death sentence. So much time seemed to have passed, but ultimately she crumbled to the floor, her hand clasped over her mouth as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Squall meant so much to her, to all of them, she just couldn't imagine life without him there...  
  
Seifer saw her go down, and immediately went to her quivering form on the floor. He knelt down beside her and pulled her close to him. "Hey, shhhhh..." he whispered soothingly. "It's gonna be ok..."  
  
"...how?" she asked, looking up at him.  
  
Seifer stared back, at first at a loss for words, but eventually he turned his head out, so that everyone would hear him. "We gotta stop this," he said. "Why do you think Squall had such a hard time telling you guys? Because he didn't want _this_. He didn't want you all broken and shut down because _he _was shutting down. It'll just make this harder on all of us..."  
  
Everyone looked up at his words, and they tried to take some solace in them, but you can't wish away pain when it is carving away at you. You can only deal with it as it comes, and pray that you will have enough strength to survive it.  
  
"He's right," Edea stated firmly. "You children have been through so much, but you've survived everything that you have faced in the past. You cannot lose hope now,"  
  
Seifer smiled at her, their Matron, who always had wise words for harsh times.  
  
"...yeah!" Zell spoke up. "I mean, Squall _just _told us. Two words and we're fallin' apart? We can't do that!"  
  
"Exactly." Seifer stated. "We need to take the time to absorb all this, take the time to talk it over and decide how we're gonna handle it. But what we can't do is stand around mulling over how unfair the whole thing is--"  
  
"We gotta stay strong!" Selphie whimpered, interrupting him. "...for Squall,"  
  
What a horrifying situation. Imagine being called into your good friends' room, scared out of your wits over what's going on, having him tell you he's dying, and then two seconds later he's out the door leaving you to deal with what he said. Only _this _group, _this _family, could put on a strong face under such circumstances. Though, not all can so easily be soothed.  
  
"I know he's only _just _told us..." Quistis cut in, "...but that doesn't mean I can choke this all down and try to deal with it like it's nothing. He's dying, for crying out loud! I just can't..."  
  
She tried to push Seifer away and stand up, but he held onto her. "No one's telling you ya gotta deal with this right now," he soothed. "We're just saying ya need to take a deep breath and hang on while we sort things out. We'll get through this, Quisty, you know we will. We have to."  
  
Quistis and Seifer had grown rather close since he got back. Seifer and the posse had become quite apart of the group, actually, but there had always been something more between Seifer and Quistis, something more than just strict instructor and reckless student. Only recently had they tried to turn their newfound friendship into something more, and Quistis cherished so much that they could be there for one another in this. She cherished being apart of him, as she once thought she had wanted to be apart of Squall.  
  
She looked up at Seifer again, so much grief trapped behind her sapphire eyes, but she nodded her head despite the pain. There would be more than enough time for tears. Right now, they all needed to be strong.  
  
-----  
  
Strength of heart is a virtue. It is seldom something a person is born with, but more often something we grow into after years of heartache. It takes practice, and even with far too much practice in experiencing horrible, painful moments in your life, that still doesn't mean you will have the strength to make it through the next horrible, painful moment.  
  
Rinoa Heartilly lost her mother to a car accident, her father by choice, so many friends because of war, and now it seemed that she would lose the man who had stolen her heart. After hearing what Squall said, it felt more like he had ripped it out of her chest.  
  
Rinoa had run from that room as blindly as Squall had run from the Infirmary hours before. She hadn't escaped the Garden, but her legs carried her to the one place within Garden where she felt the most connection to: inside the empty ballroom and out onto the balcony.

Deep down, she must have known Squall would find her there, for it was the first place he looked.  
  
"Rinoa...?" Squall called softly, walking out to join her on the balcony.  
  
She was leaning against the railing with her head bowed, but she made no sound in response, other than her soft cries.  
  
"Rinoa?" he said again, coming close enough to place his hand on her shoulder.  
  
In a heartbeat she turned, flung her arms around his neck, and pulled him so tightly to her chest that his heart seemed to skip a beat. "I'm so sorry I ran out of there, Squall..." she sobbed. "I just couldn't take it...I couldn't believe that you were..." She buried her face in his shoulder, both taking comfort in merely holding each other close.  
  
"It's alright..." Squall soothed. "...it's alright, Rin. As long as we have each other, nothing can tear us apart."  
  
"But this _can_." she contradicted him. "This can take you away, Squall...and I don't wanna lose you..."  
  
When you love someone, you would give anything for them. You would cut out your own heart and sell your soul if it could in anyway save them from pain. So, when you know without a doubt that there is nothing you can do to save them...  
  
"I wish there was something I could say, something I could do to make this go away...but I can't." Squall said hopelessly. "I don't wanna die. I don't wanna leave you..." Squall gently pushed Rinoa from his shoulder and lifted her chin, cupping her face in his hands.  
  
(My beautiful angel...) Squall thought. (...you're suffering because of me...)  
  
"...I love you so much..." he whispered. "...and I am _so _sorry..."  
  
"No..." Rinoa whispered back, shaking her head and placing her finger over his lips to silence him. "Don't you dare say you're sorry. Don't try and make this out to be your fault, Squall." She pulled herself into him again, tightening her grip around his waste. "...I love you, Squall, and that's all that matters." she said. "I can't stand this, but I won't let you blame it on yourself."  
  
They let themselves stand there awhile, just holding each other, and struggling to continue breathing.  
  
"...we should go back to the others," Rinoa said after awhile. "I'm not going to lose hope, Squall. I'm not going to live each day expecting you to die the next, and I know the others won't either. Together...we can face this."  
  
"I know..." Squall stated, pulling her out in front of him again. "With you next to me...I can face anything."

tbc...  
  
A/N: Four parts, and more to come. I can't believe it. Well, I hope you didn't mind my shameless Queifer plug, but I just had to do it. :-) Frankly, I don't know if I like this section that much. I struggled with it, and I need some reasurance. Please Review like you've been so good at doing so far. Also, if you're curious, there should be three, maybe four parts to come, depending on how I section things off as I write. I already know how this is going to end, but you'll just have to wait and see.


	5. Part Five

A heartbeat is a peculiar thing. Most people take it for granted, never dwelling on the steady rhythm inside their chest. Others are so aware of it that they find themselves feeling for their pulse every other minute, each time expecting that next beat to be their last. There are moments when we become acutely conscious of it--anticipation, infatuation, fear--when it can be felt pounding up into our eardrums. Those are the moments we remember. When the melody played by the heart gets engraved upon our souls. Sometimes, with those memorable heartbeats, we would rather forget.  
  
Laguna Loire sat anxiously behind his desk in the Presidential Palace. He fidgeted terribly as his gaze repeatedly fell upon the pictures (which took up most of the space on his desk) in front of him. There was one of Ellone standing in front of the newly remodeled Kramer Orphanage, which she zealously ran with help from Edea; another one was of Kiros, Ward, and himself from back when they were soldiers for Galbadia; there was a very cherished one of Raine; and the newest addition, which caught his eye the most right now, was of him and Squall. Both were smiling brightly with their arms around each other, and a rather boisterous Rinoa was poking her head between them with her arms around them both. Looking at it now, Laguna felt as if he wanted to laugh and cry all at once.  
  
He had received a phone call from Squall that morning, saying that he needed to speak with him right away. Squall wouldn't say what it was about over the phone, but Laguna could tell by the strain in his son's voice that it wasn't going to be good news.  
  
(Squall should be arriving soon) Laguna thought restlessly.  
  
He had said that he would pick Ellone up on the way there, so Laguna understood that it would take Squall a little longer than usual. Still, time moved unbearably slow, gnawing away at Laguna as he continued to stare at the pictures on his desk...  
  
"Mr. President?" came his secretary's voice from the intercom.  
  
Laguna jumped, broken from his contemplation. He fumbled with the button frantically. "Y-Yes?"  
  
"Your son and niece are here to see you, sir."  
  
Laguna breathed in deeply to calm his nerves. "Send them in."  
  
The morning had begun so beautifully; sunshine, blue sky. Clear and lovely, like everyday on the desert-like continent. It seldom rained in Esthar, being such an arid place. But that afternoon, when time paused for grief and heartbeats were stilled, the clouds eclipsed the sun, and it poured.  
  
-----  
  
Squall fell exhaustedly into bed that dreary night. It had been a long, agonizing day, but somehow he had survived it.  
  
Laguna and Ellone reacted just as Squall predicted they would. There had been angry outbursts, falling tears, and deep, long embraces to collapse into. It was a great comfort to have them both so caring and loving, but nothing seemed capable of lifting the overcast clouds from Squall's fate.  
  
It had only been a few days since Squall had found out about his disease, but already he could see and feel the change in everyone around him. He himself had yet to suffer from any symptoms, but they were all being so careful, so tentative towards him. He couldn't take a step without ten people holding their breaths and rushing to help him. Things were turning out exactly how Squall _didn't_ want them to. Couldn't they understand that all he wanted was to live what life he had left as normally as possible; that he didn't want any special treatment?  
  
(I want to live each day as fully as I can, not as if I'm made of glass ready to shatter!) Squall thought angrily.  
  
He sat alone in bed, tossing his clothes unto the floor, and kicking his boots off absently. The past _few _nights he had slept alone, actually. It wasn't that he didn't want Rinoa there, he just had so much he needed to figure out on his own.  
  
(Laguna's probably handling this the best out of everyone) Squall thought, falling back unto his pillow. (He wants to step up our time together, not be overly cautious with it)  
  
Laguna planned to arrive at Balamb Garden the next afternoon. He was leaving Esthar in Kiros and Ward's hands for the time being, so that he could be with his son.  
  
(Well, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore, or let anyone else feel sorry for me, either.) Squall went on. (I refuse to fade away...) Squall closed his eyes, digging deep into his pillow.  
  
If only he was prepared for what tomorrow would bring...  
  
-----  
  
Laguna arrived right on schedule that afternoon, with big plans for a "guy's day out." Rinoa and the girls, on the other hand, would be in Deling City all day, partially to give the boys some time alone, but with some hidden agendas as well.  
  
"So, where to first?" Selphie asked brightly, bounding out of the Ragnorok. "Shopping? Lunch? Bar hopping?"  
  
Quistis shot her a disapproving glance.  
  
"I was only kidding!" she giggled.  
  
"Why don't you guys head over to the shopping center," Rinoa put in. "I'll meet you for lunch in a few hours."  
  
"Not wasting any time I see," Quistis stated carefully. "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"  
  
Rinoa looked away towards the magnificent city beyond them. It was even more spectacular than it had been a year ago, having prospered greatly under the new president.  
  
She sighed, turning back to her friend with a weak smile. "I have to,"  
  
They continued into town, breaking company at the station to take different trolleys. Rinoa headed for the Presidential Residence. There was someone she needed to see.  
  
The elaborate building pierced high into the sky, looming above her as she approached. She walked through the gates with complete confidence, however, straight past the guards to the front door. Upon entering, she called to a servant whom she passed to inform the president of her arrival, and then made her way to the library to wait.  
  
Rinoa stood by a large bay window at the back of the room, staring out at the city that seemed so far away. When the president entered a few minutes later, she was still standing by the window with her back to the entrance.  
  
"Well, this is a surprise," he said softly, genuinely, "I can't believe you're here."  
  
Rinoa turned at the sound of his voice, her face a mask of emotions impossible to decipher. "Nice to see you, too...Dad."  
  
-----  
  
"Dad..." Squall said again. "...what exactly do you have planned for us today anyway?"  
  
Laguna didn't answer, seemingly lost in thought.  
  
"Laguna?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, sorry," Laguna answered sheepishly, shaking his head. "Still getting used to you calling me Dad,"  
  
Squall's cheeks reddened a little, and his gaze dropped to the floor. Until recently, Squall had always referred to Laguna as Laguna. It just seemed so odd to think of him as his father. "I figured it was about time we did get used to it," Squall stated.  
  
A moment passed between them, something near tangible, and so very real. Squall almost cringed at the pain in his chest produced by that moment. Did he really have so little time left with his...with his father?  
  
"Lighten up, mates!" Irvine called, snapping things back to reality. "We're supposed have fun today, right? So what are we going to do?"  
  
The three of them, along with Zell and a slightly reluctant Seifer, stood just outside the Dormitory. It was originally planned to just be Squall, Laguna, Zell, and Irvine, but at the last moment Squall decided to ask Seifer to join them. It had been a little difficult, but Squall felt he owed Seifer at least that much, and they both truly wanted to put everything behind them.  
  
"Well..." Laguna began with a clumsy, little smirk, "I thought we'd spend some time in that Training Center of yours. See if you boys can keep up with me,"  
  
The boys laughed heartily at the comment.  
  
"Is that a challenge, Grandpa?" Zell teased, shadowboxing as usual as he hopped from foot to foot.  
  
"Hey, I've still got a few moves left in me." Laguna countered. "Besides, I'm no grandpa yet." He turned his head worriedly to Squall for a moment. "Right?"  
  
Squall laughed and shook his head, "Right,"  
  
"Well, then, let's head over there and see what ya got! Just remember, I was fighting off monsters before you were even born!"  
  
They chuckled again, enjoying a light, humorous conversation all the way to the Training Center. It gave them the chance to forget their burdens of fate for a moment, which was a very welcome change.  
  
-----  
  
"Come on, Quistis, smile already! We're shopping, not grading papers or giving some boring lecture!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Selph. I just can't get my mind off of Squall and Rinoa..."  
  
Selphie and Quistis had been browsing about the shops for nearly twenty minutes, but though Selphie was continuously enthralled by some great bargain or amazing article of clothing, Quistis seemed a million miles away.  
  
"Whatcha thinkin' about 'em?" Selphie asked, plopping herself onto a nearby bench. Quistis joined her.  
  
"About this whole mess..." she sighed. "Squall...dying...Laguna coming, Rinoa off speaking with her father, who she hasn't said nearly two coherent words to in years. Just...all of it! They're both dealing with so much right now and there's nothing we can do to help,"  
  
"But they're dealing with it, and we _are _a lot of help," Selphie replied. "Squall's still got plenty of time left, and it's great that Rinoa went to talk with President Caraway, and...well, I just love that Sir Laguna's here!"  
  
Quistis had to smile at her friend's ever present enthusiasm and optimism. She had such a good, kind heart. "I know," Quistis admitted. "I suppose I just have this horrible feeling that something is going to happen to make things even worse." she sighed again, leaning back into the bench. "Maybe I'm just being paranoid..."  
  
"That's exactly what you're being!" Selphie cried, jumping up. "Now, come on, let's have a little fun! Everything will be just fine. What could go wrong with Sir Laguna at the Garden?"  
  
Quistis smiled, submitting to Selphie's pull on her hand to get up, and following her along the shopping strip once again.  
  
(She's right. What could go wrong...?)  
  
-----  
  
"You call that handling a gun?" Irvine shouted mockingly. "_This _is how you handle a gun!" He proceeded to shoot a Grat in front of them with a trick shot from behind his back.

Laguna merely smiled, firing at a stealthy T-Rexar that had snuck up behind Irvine. "A lot of good cheap tricks do you if you're dead!"  
  
The five of them had been getting a pretty good workout in the Training Center, and Laguna hadn't lost a step since his glory days. At the rate they were going, there wouldn't be a monster left by the end of the day.  
  
"Pretty impressive, for an old-timer," Irvine smirked. The two of them had gotten into a little contest of firepower, and Irvine was far from admitting that he was falling behind.  
  
"Give it up, Cowboy," Seifer called to him. "If he's anything like his son, I doubt you have a chance,"  
  
Squall smiled secretively. The two of them had really started to enjoy fighting on the same side, and they proved to be a pretty impressive team. As for Zell, he was holding his own quite well, adding antagonistic juices when needed.  
  
"So, finally admitting he's better than ya, huh, Seifer?" Zell shouted gleefully.  
  
Seifer turned towards him smugly. "Hey, I never said that," he stated. Then, a little under his breath, "...chicken-wuss,"  
  
Zell's sharp senses picked up the old nickname clearly, and when Seifer turned away from him, he charged head on. Seifer was taken completely by surprise as Zell tackled him from behind, sending his gunblade flying.  
  
Squall, Laguna, and Irvine looked on humorously as they wrestled on the ground. It didn't take Zell long to get Seifer into a headlock, pinning him down. After all, Zell fought just as fiercely without a weapon as Seifer did with one.  
  
"Dangit, Dincht! Let me up!" Seifer cried.  
  
"Not till you admit I'm better than you!"  
  
The others couldn't help but laugh at the situation.  
  
"At hand to hand...I admit it," Seifer grumbled. "Now get off!"  
  
Zell stayed there a moment, thinking things over. "On one more condition," he said thoughtfully.  
  
"What?"  
  
Zell smirked triumphantly. "Promise not to ever call me chicken-wuss again--"  
  
"No problem."  
  
"I'm not done yet!" Zell cut him off. "Also...will ya let me see your gunblade?"  
  
Seifer laughed. "Sure,"  
  
They all moved back to the safe zone of the Training Center for some needed rest. Irvine and Laguna got into a heated discussion over whether shotguns or machine guns were better, Zell was prancing about with Seifer's gunblade, and Seifer and Squall had seated themselves on the grass.  
  
"Think Zell missed his true calling?" Squall asked jokingly as Zell swung the Hyperion madly through the air.  
  
Seifer chuckled. "Oh yeah, he's a natural."  
  
"Funny, guys," Zell stated sarcastically, dashing in front of them. "Hey, look at me, I'm Seifer Almasy!" he shouted then, swinging the gunblade with one hand. "I fight like a sissy-boy and make googoo eyes at Instructor Trepe!"  
  
Seifer glared at him. "Ha ha,"  
  
Squall laughed, leaning back on his elbows. This day had been just what he needed. A chance to live, to have fun, to remember what each day is supposed to be about. He passed his gaze over his friends, his father, his old enemy, and a peace settled in his restless heart.  
  
Moments pass in our lives that we wish we could hold captive forever, so that we could relive them over and over again. This was one of those moments for Squall Leonheart, and as with most others like it, this moment was far too short.  
  
As Squall moved his eyes over his surroundings, his vision seemed to blur, the voices around him dimmed, and a sense of dizziness and nausea swept over him. Instinctively, he tried to stand in order to clear his head, but he immediately stumbled back to the ground.  
  
"Whoa, Squall. Are you alright?" Seifer asked, concerned.  
  
"...yeah...just dizzy is all..." he said weakly.  
  
"Maybe we'd better bring you to Dr. Kadowaki to be sure,"  
  
Laguna and Irvine had made there way over to them, and tried to help Squall stand.  
  
"No! I can do it on my own..." he cried, pushing them away. He managed to stand this time, but after barely a step, that feeling of dizziness and nausea swept over him again, and his vision went dark.

He didn't remember hitting the ground, and later, he would barely remember the delirium of voices that swam in and out of his hearing.  
  
(...Squall...oh God...)  
  
(...quick...get help...)  
  
(...hang on...we're getting the doctor...)  
  
(...don't try to move...)  
  
(...no...this can't be happening...)  
  
(...we're here for ya...Squall...)  
  
(...stay with us...)  
  
(...not yet...please...)  
  
(...don't leave me...son...)  
  
-----  
  
A world away, an abandoned father, and a resentful daughter, were just beginning to get reacquainted.  
  
"Remember the time I caught you in your mother's pearls and high heals? You must have had ten pounds of makeup on your face!" President Caraway laughed.  
  
"Hey, I was only three!" Rinoa laughed in return. "You got all mad, but mom just thought it was the cutest thing! Remember, Dad, all the pictures she took?"  
  
They were seated across from each other in the large library, where they had been for the past hour and a half. Things had begun a little rocky, but what needed to be said had been said. They hugged, asked for forgiveness, gave forgiveness, and were now reliving fond memories of the past.  
  
"It's so good to hear you call me that again," Caraway said warmly. "I just wish we hadn't--"  
  
"Lost so much time," Rinoa finished. "It's my fault really. I pushed you away after mom died."  
  
Caraway leaned forward, placing his hands over hers. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm just glad that we're together now."  
  
Rinoa's face lit up and she grabbed his hand firmly in both of hers. "You must come back with me to the Garden to meet Squall!" she cried joyfully. "I know you've met before, but now..."  
  
"I understand," Caraway replied. "It shouldn't be too difficult for me to get away. Besides, how could I pass up spending time with the young man who's stolen my little girl's heart?"  
  
Rinoa blushed.  
  
"I know things must be hard for you right now," he added seriously. "How are you handling his...condition?"  
  
Rinoa opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a servant who entered. "Excuse me, Sir," the servant began, closing the door behind him. "I know you said that you didn't want to be disturbed, but there's an urgent phone call for Miss Heartilly,"  
  
Rinoa sprang up from her chair. "Who is it?" she asked nervously.  
  
"A Mr. Seifer Almasy. He says it's very important,"  
  
The servant produced a phone, which Rinoa snatched sharply from his hand. "Seifer? What is it? What's happened?" she asked frantically.  
  
A few moments passed as she listened to the other end of the line. Soon, her already pale face lost what color there was left to loose.  
  
The phone dropped from her trembling hand.  
  
"...oh my God..."

tbc...  
  
A/N: I can just imagine how angry you all are that I ended with another cliff hanger, but I couldn't help myself. If you're curious as to what will happen next, I should have the next part up next weekend, and I will finish the whole thing over my wonderfully long X-mas break! Sorry again for taking so long. Remember, if you want more, tell me so! Please Review!


	6. Part Six

Heartbeats can be savored, certain events in our lives can hang suspended in time, and so much can happen in a split second you would think a century had gone by. But it is those moments in our lives without a sense of time, without a sense of anything, even without the sense of our own aching heartbeats, that will haunt and plague our memories until the day we die.  
  
Rinoa had lost all awareness of her surroundings, all sense of place, or time, or anything that was real. All she knew was that she ran, on and on, past the blur of images, seeming to move in slow motion, as if she would never reach her final destination.  
  
She had sprinted from the Ragnorok the second it touched down, and no amount of fatigue could have stopped her before she reached the Infirmary. Laguna, Zell, Irvine, and Seifer were all there, and just as she reached them, Dr. Kadowaki was coming out of one of the small rooms.  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki!" she cried out, nearly running the woman over as she came to a stop. "What's happened? Is Squall alright? Is he going to be okay? What--"  
  
"Calm down, dear." the doctor soothed, grasping Rinoa's shoulders to restrain her. "I'll tell you what I can, but I think you'd better sit down for this,"  
  
Dr. Kadowaki tried to lead Rinoa over to one of the chairs, but she wouldn't budge. "Not until you tell me what's going on!"  
  
Quistis, Selphie, and President Caraway had finally caught up, and were just coming through the Infirmary doors.

Seeing that nearly everyone was now there, the doctor sighed hopelessly, releasing Rinoa's shoulders, and turned away from them all. "I wish things were different," she stated softly. "But I'm afraid Squall's condition has...accelerated."  
  
Everyone was taken aback, but Rinoa persisted on. "What do you mean? Accelerated? You said he had a year!"  
  
The doctor turned back to her. "I'm so sorry, Rinoa," she said genuinely. "What I said was that this syndrome was unpredictable. All signs showed that he did have about a year, but now...now he may not last even a few days..."  
  
The others looked to each other, lost, but Rinoa shook her head fiercely, tears of anger and tortured pain springing to her velvet, brown eyes. "But...you said he had a year!" she screamed, pounding her fists against the doctor clumsily, "Give me back that year! Give it back! You said...you said..." She sobbed furiously, mumbling to herself over that unfairly lost year.

Her father came forward then, pulling her from the helpless doctor, and Rinoa melted into his loving embrace. "Shhh, darling. Somehow it'll be alright," he comforted. "Somehow..."  
  
"Doctor..." Quistis began, stepping forward. "Is he awake? Can we see him?"  
  
They all looked to her longingly, clinging to whatever hope they might find.  
  
"Yes...but he's very weak," she answered, "Try not to excite him too much, he doesn't have much time." She stepped away from the door, and they began to file in, Rinoa and her father last as she continued to cling to his side.  
  
-----  
  
"Hey there, sport," Laguna began with a false smile. "You must really love this place if you keep finding your way back,"  
  
Squall looked up at him from the tiny bed with clouded eyes, smiling as best he could. The change in him already was far too apparent. His face was chalk white, his eyes without their usual spark, and his hair was damp from sweat. He had changed a lifetime in less than an hour.  
  
"...hey...what can I say...the beds are comfortable...and I get...first dibs at the cafeteria's hot-dogs..." Squall replied weakly, trying humor to lighten the dark mood.  
  
The others settled in around the room, Rinoa sitting close to him on one side, and Laguna on the other.  
  
"So..." Rinoa tried, brushing the hair from Squall's eyes as tears still clung to hers, "...how...how are you doing?"  
  
Squall reached up a trembling hand to stroke her face. "...better...with you here..."  
  
Rinoa felt her heart breaking, and it just killed her that there was nothing she could do, nothing that could save the man she loved.  
  
A heaviness filled the air, and no one knew quite what to say.  
  
"What do we do now?" Selphie sobbed.  
  
"...I guess..." Squall began somberly, biting back his own tears, "...I guess we say...goodbye..."  
  
Rinoa clung to Squall's chest, submitting to her anguished tears, and the others...they were silently cursing fate for being so unbelievably cruel.  
  
"Let's not think of this as saying goodbye..." Laguna put in, grasping his son's hand. "Let's think of this as a time to let Squall know how much he means to all of us,"  
  
The broken-hearted onlookers agreed, and Rinoa managed to lift her head in approval as well.  
  
"Good," Laguna smiled. "Then let me start by saying...I love you, Squall. I am so proud that you are my son, and this past year with you has been the best time in my life. I just wish..." He had to turn his head away. "...I just wish I had been there. I wish we could have more time now to make up for all the times you had to be alone..."  
  
Squall reached out a hand and placed it on his father's shoulder.

Laguna turned back to him, though he had trouble accepting what he saw lying in that bed. His son, dead and dying by the minute.  
  
"...I don't blame you for anything..." Squall began. "...I don't regret anything. I am happy with...what time we did get...to share...and I...I love you...and I'm proud that you're my father..."  
  
Laguna dropped to his knees, leaning closer to the bed so that he could pull his son to him. Squall buried his head in his father's chest, tears streaking down his face, and Laguna kissed Squall's forehead with trembling lips, wishing beyond everything that time could stop, so that they could remain there in that moment.  
  
It was hard for Laguna to let Squall go, not just out of their embrace, but out of his life forever.  
  
Laguna eased Squall back down into the bed, wiping his son's tears away with a gentle touch. He looked behind him then, at the petite young woman in her sunshine, yellow dress, who's face was for once without its rays of sunshine to compliment her common apparel.  
  
"Me?" Selphie asked meekly. Laguna nodded with a smile, stepping aside so that she could come closer to the bed.  
  
She took meager steps at first, as if unsure of her footing, but once she was about a step from the bed, she suddenly pounced, flinging her arms about Squall's neck and squeezing him tight.  
  
"Oh, Squall!" she cried. "I just love you so much. You're like a big brother, always looking out for me. What am I supposed to do without you?"  
  
Squall squeezed back, with what strength he had, and smiled. "...you'll be fine...Selph...I know you will," Squall whispered. "...you have to...get ready for that...Garden Festival...right? And...keep taking care of those...younger classmen...and...make sure Irvine stays out of trouble...will ya?"  
  
She laughed a little. "I will! I promise," she answered. "But...I'm gonna miss you so much!" She pulled away from him a little to look into his misted, blue eyes, her little arms still clasped around his neck.  
  
"...I'll miss you, too..." he said, sniffling back his tears. "...I'll always love you...Selphie...my little sister..." He gently stroked her face as she nodded somberly, carefully releasing him and moving back away from the bed.  
  
Irvine stepped forward next, taking his hat off as he did. "Gee, mate, I don't know what to say," he smiled apologetically. "We've known each other just over a year now, but I think of you as one of the closest friends I've ever had." Irvine cringed a bit from the thought of losing that close friend, blinking his watery eyes in an attempt to keep them dry.  
  
"...just promise me...you'll get that instructor's license," Squall replied. Then, with a sly smile, "...that you _won't_ make any...moves...on your female students...and...that you'll take care of Selphie...for me..."  
  
Irvine gave a short laugh, grinning. "With pleasure," he extended his hand, and Squall grasped it as firmly as he could. But, before they could shake, Irvine knelt down a bit, and having hold of Squall's hand, pulled him in for a hug. It was sharp and quick, but affective, and as Irvine stepped back, the torch passed on again.  
  
"Dammit, Squall. Why do ya have to do this to me?" Zell whimpered, not trying in the least to hold back his tears. "We're buddies. Brothers. We're supposed to get wrinkly and grey together, driving the young SeeDs nuts with our old war stories, remember?"  
  
Squall laughed a little. "...I know...Zell...I wish I was going to be there with you...but...you have to do something for me now..."  
  
"Anything!" Zell replied. "You know that."  
  
Squall smiled. "...I need you to...take care of the Garden now...as SeeD Commander..."  
  
Zell jumped back. "Me?!" he shouted, "You want _me _to take over for ya?"  
  
"Of course. I'm sure...Quistis...can keep you in line..." Squall replied, smiling.  
  
"I don't know. Filling your shoes is gonna be tough..." Zell stood a little taller, scratching his head in thought. "Hmmm...SeeD Commander Dincht..."  
  
"...don't...let it go to your head now...Zell..." Squall teased.  
  
Zell blushed a little, coming closer to the bed. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I won't let ya down," he said. "And...oh...we're gonna miss ya!" Zell pounced on Squall then, much as Selphie had. "I love ya, man!"  
  
Squall had to laugh. "...I love you, too...Zell..."  
  
Zell rubbed at his eyes as he moved back, not at all ashamed for expressing his feelings.  
  
It was Quistis who came forward next. She tried to remain collected as she made her way to the bed, but as she reached Squall, she collapsed there beside him, crying into her hands.  
  
Squall reached over the side of the bed, lifting her up gently from the floor, and enfolded her in his arms. "...dear Quistis..." Squall soothed. "...I've hurt you the most...and yet...you've meant so much to me all these years..."  
  
"Oh , Squall, you haven't hur--"  
  
"Yes...I have..." he cut her off. "...you've always known me...even better than I know...myself, but I...always pushed you away. I was so cruel..."  
  
"It didn't bother me that much...really," she lied. "I'll always love you, Squall, as a brother, as I always have,"  
  
Squall carefully lifted her from him, looking into her sapphire eyes glittering with tears. "...I'll always love you, too...Quisty...always..." he whispered, brushing away her tears. "...just do...a few things for me...will you....?" She nodded fiercely. "...be Zell's right hand...and...let me hear you say...just once...that you forgive me..."  
  
Quistis clenched her eyes shut from the pain in her heart, laying her head on Squall's chest. "...I forgive you...Squall...a million times over I do,"  
  
Squall closed his eyes, a new peace in his heart finally settling in, as it should have long ago. He stroked Quistis' hair lovingly. She was so much more than a sister...  
  
Seifer walked over to them, placing his hand on Quistis' shoulder. She opened her eyes, and nodded as she saw him standing there. Lifting herself from the bed, she remained close by Seifer's side as he now took his turn.  
  
"...Seifer..." Squall began.  
  
"No," Seifer interrupted. "_I'm _going first this time,"  
  
He knelt down next to the bed, looking Squall straight in the face with his sad, turquoise eyes.  
  
"We were never friends," he began. "We've been rivals since we were kids, and as much as I hate to admit it, it's all because of me. Because you were better than me at everything, and I couldn't stand it. I just had to beat you. Any chance I could get, I had to." he sighed heavily. "And what did it all get me? Just the sorceresses lap dog, right? Dammit! If I just would have done a million things differently, maybe none of that mess two years ago would have gotten as far as it did! Maybe you wouldn't be here like this right now..." Seifer brought his hand up to his face, rubbing at the tears so desperate to fall.

Squall reached over and grabbed Seifer's other hand firmly, causing Seifer to look back up, his eyes red-rimmed and suffering. "...this is _not _your fault...Seifer..." Squall stated sharply, his eyes stern and serious. "...I hate those days just as much as you do...but it wasn't only you to blame. Don't regret anything...it's not worth it...it doesn't matter. What matters is that we're here...now...and I hold nothing against you. I'd..." he stopped, unsure of his next statement. "...I forgive you if you forgive me. I'd...call you friend if you'd do the same for me..."  
  
Seifer squeezed Squall's hand in reply, smiling his rare, genuine smile. "Forgiven, and friend. Nothing could be easier,"  
  
"...forgiven...and friend..." Squall repeated, smiling as well. "...now there's just one thing I have left to ask of you..."  
  
"Anything," Seifer replied.

Squall motioned him closer, so that he could whisper into Seifer's ear. "...If you ever hurt Quistis in any way..." Squall said softly, "...I'm going to come back from the grave...and kill you..."  
  
Seifer jerked away, his face pale, and he laughed nervously, thinking Squall had meant it as a joke.

Squall didn't look too amused.

Seifer cleared his throat awkwardly then, leaning closer to Squall again to whisper in _his _ear. "Don't worry about that," he said. "I love her. I honestly do. I'd never dream of hurting her. That's a promise."  
  
Squall was smiling this time when Seifer pulled away. He knew this was one promise from Seifer Almasy that he could definitely count on.  
  
"Well, now," President Caraway began, looking about the room. "I think this may be our cue to leave," He indicated his daughter, still clinging closely by Squall's side.  
  
The others whole-heatedly agreed, making their way out of the room. When it was only Rinoa and her father left, Caraway stepped close to Squall, and took hold of his hand.  
  
"I wish we had been given more time to know each other, my boy," he said sincerely. "You're everything to my daughter, and I thank you for being part of why she found her way back to me." He released Squall's hand, bending down to kiss Rinoa softly on her tear-stained cheeks.

When he left, Squall and Rinoa were alone.  
  
-----  
  
The meaning of life can be disputed over again and again. There are a million theories and a million arguments, but in the end, one simple word is a huge part of the answer. Love. There is love that we have for our friends, our family, whatever God or gods we may believe in, our world, our belongings, but most importantly, our true loves. That one special person in our life that means everything to us. If we wouldn't risk our lives for anyone else, we would risk our lives for them. They are the reason we breathe. But those of us lucky enough to find our one, true love, may be the most unlucky of all.

At least at that moment when we must say goodbye.  
  
Rinoa and Squall hadn't spoken a word to each other since Caraway left. Rinoa had simply crawled into the tiny bed next to Squall, and they held each other, Rinoa clutching Squall's chest as he stroked her raven hair.  
  
(What do I say to her...?) Squall thought desperately. (I found the words to say to the others, somehow, but what can I say to _her_? 'I love you, I need you, I wish I wasn't about to die and leave you forever,' ?) He closed his eyes in despair. (I guess all I can do is try...)  
  
"Rinoa...?" he whispered.  
  
"...yes...?"  
  
"...I love you..." he said passionately. "...I love you so much that I...find it hard to breathe...sometimes...that I...can't stand one moment away from you...that I wish..."  
  
"...you weren't about to leave me..." she finished for him.  
  
A tear traveled down his cheek. "...I'm so sorry...Rinoa...I am so sorry..."  
  
She lifted her head, looking up at him. "Would you rather we hadn't met at all, so that this wouldn't hurt so much now...?"  
  
"Never!" he answered, cupping her chin in his hand. "...never...I'd live through any amount of pain if I had to...anything...as long as I still got to fall in love with you..."  
  
She smiled past her falling tears, resting her head on his chest again. "Thank you, Squall. That's all I needed to hear," she said. "As long as I can hold you now, in this moment, I can face anything,"  
  
"...I just want...I just want to be with you...always..." he whispered.  
  
"So do I," she replied. "And...there is something else I want..."  
  
"...what is it...?"  
  
Rinoa lifted her head from his chest again, sitting herself up. Squall watched, confused, as she brought her hands behind her neck, and began to unclasp her necklace. When she had gotten it off, she slipped Squall's old Griever ring off the chain, setting the rest of the necklace on the table beside the bed.  
  
"...I don't understand..." Squall stated, not sure what she meant to do.  
  
Rinoa smiled, grasping Squall's left hand in hers, as she slipped Griever onto his ring finger. "Marry me..." she said, breathless.  
  
Squall was dumbfounded, awestruck, and thrilled beyond belief.  
  
"If you're going to leave me..." Rinoa continued. "...then it's going to be as my husband. I can't imagine going on without that. Will you? Will you, Squall?"  
  
His face lit up, his eyes sparkling with a bit of their lost life. "In a heartbeat, yes! Of course!"  
  
Rinoa jumped into his arms, both their hearts aflame with love and passion for one another.  
  
"...we'll...we'll have to act right away...I don't..." Squall started.  
  
"I know, I know," Rinoa interrupted. "Right away! As soon as we call the others back. Edea can do the ceremony. She'd never forgive us if we didn't give her the honor,"  
  
Squall pulled Rinoa from him a little. "...what about a ring for you...?"  
  
Rinoa just smiled. "Covered," she stated simply. She reached into her pocket, producing an identical Griever ring, besides being a few sizes smaller. "I had Zell make this for me over a year ago," she blushed. "I never wore it since you gave me yours, but I knew it would come in handy,"  
  
Squall smiled, taking the ring from Rinoa. He carefully lifted her left hand, and slipped it gently on her finger. "...I love you...my angel..."  
  
"I love you, my lion,"  
  
They kissed passionately, with their whole hearts behind it. For a moment, reality was left in the dust, and fantasy gave two lovers hope.

tbc...  
  
A/N: (takes a big breath) That was the most difficult part for me to write so far. I truly hope you loved it. As for what's next, it's still not known if and/or when Squall is going to die. Well, your questions will be answered in the next, and last, part. Bear with me, and please review!


	7. Part Seven

Joy is a wonder. When truly pure, the human mind can only perceive it as laughter, a melodic laughter that fills the air. Joy like that captivates. It comes so seldom, that when it does come, you would think it was planning on setting up permanent residence, you feel so blessed to have it with you.

No wonder Squall's soul was singing.  
  
They hadn't wasted a moments time. The second they'd released each other from their passionate kiss, Rinoa had dashed out the door to tell the others. After hearing the news, Selphie raced off to get Edea and Cid, Laguna went to call Ellone, and the rest went back inside to congratulate the groom-to-be.  
  
Deep down, both Squall and Rinoa, as well as the others, knew that this marriage might not survive an entire day. They knew. But it didn't matter. This was something that Squall and Rinoa needed, and they were going to have it.  
  
In an hour's time, everything was ready. The whole setup was pretty impressive, actually. Zell was best man, with Irvine and Seifer the groomsmen, and Quistis was maid of honor, with Selphie and Ellone the bridesmaids. Edea gave the ceremony right from Squall's room in the Infirmary, and President Caraway gave the bride away. Besides them, there was Cid, Sora (the pig-tailed girl), Doctor Kadowaki, and Raijin & Fuujin.

It was nothing fancy, nothing grand, but to Squall and Rinoa it was the most beautiful wedding in all creation. Rinoa even wore her mother's wedding dress. Squall wasn't able to wear a suit, he couldn't even stand on his own, but with his father's support, he was on his feet when he said, "I do,"  
  
As much as he would have liked to carry his bride over the threshold, Rinoa was the one to carry Squall. Well, she was the one who pushed him through the door in his wheelchair, anyway.  
  
"If these are your...last nights...then you're not spending them in one of those tiny beds in the Infirmary!" Rinoa stated, wheeling Squall into his dormroom.  
  
"...wouldn't...be enough...room...for tonight...anyway...right?" Squall grinned.  
  
Rinoa blushed. "It was a lovely wedding, wasn't it?" she said softly, purposely avoiding the subject.  
  
"...perfect..." Squall replied, reaching out to stroke her face. "...because of the...beautiful bride..."  
  
Rinoa took his hand from her face and brought it to her lips, kissing his fingertips. Her lips were like feathers on Squall's skin, sending a chill down his back. She continued to caress his hand, to kiss it, and didn't stop, even as she spoke. "You seem a bit exhausted, Mr. Leonheart," she whispered seductively. "Are you quite tired?"  
  
Squall closed his eyes, trembling slightly from her touch. "...not...not at all...Mrs. Leonheart..."  
  
Rinoa's grin widened and she released his hand. Neither spoke as she pulled back the covers on the bed, nor did they as she helped Squall from the wheelchair over to it. Squall sat down on the edge, insisting on laying himself down and moving his legs under the covers on his own. He didn't lay down completely, though, but remained more upright against the headboard.  
  
"...what...should we do now...Mrs. Leonheart...?" Squall asked, teasingly.  
  
"Gee, Mr. Leonheart, I don't know," she teased back, standing there beside the bed, still dressed in her mother's wedding gown. It was very sleek and simple; all satin, off the shoulder, flowing about her slender ankles. Her raven hair was even pinned up.  
  
"...perhaps...we should do something...we've never done before..." Squall said thoughtfully.  
  
"Never?" Rinoa asked. "With...anyone?"  
  
Squall caught her hidden meaning. They had already talked with each other about this long before. They both already knew that truth of each other, as well as all others, but he played along anyway. "...no...never," he replied. "...and...you...?"  
  
"No. Never," she repeated simply.  
  
"...then...there's nothing...to be...afraid of...if neither of us...has done this...before..." Squall stated, just as plainly.  
  
"Exactly..."  
  
Rinoa reached a hand up behind her head, freeing her pin from its place in her hair. The dark locks fell shimmering upon her bare shoulders. She placed the pin on the nightstand, and then turned away from the bed. Bringing her hands behind her back, she slowly began to unzip the long, white dress, slipping it off and stepping out of it as it collected at her feet. She shivered a little, nervous and frightened, despite Squall's words of comfort, as well as her own.  
  
Still with her back to Squall, she slipped her bra off over her head, tossing it to the floor, and then gradually slipped her underwear off, past her legs and away from around her ankles.  
  
Squall had watched her with growing anticipation, and was just as nervous and frightened as she was. They loved each other unconditionally, but the first time is always the hardest.  
  
Rinoa stood still a moment, gathering her confidence, but soon she began to turn around, slowly, an almost lost look on her face. She couldn't help it, but her biggest fear had always been that he wouldn't like what he saw somehow, when this time finally came. But love is stronger than anything, and she was most definitely wrong.  
  
"...I've seen much...beauty in my life..." Squall began, looking up into her enchanting eyes. "...but...only now do I...truly know...what beautiful means..."  
  
Rinoa smiled, her cheeks flushing with color, and she stepped forward to accept the hand Squall offered her. He took her in his arms, and time stopped for two, newborn lovers, caught up in their moment of passion and love.  
  
Outside, clouds had formed over the once clear sky, thunder clapped in the distance, lightning flashed, and the heavens let go a fierce and driving rain.  
  
-----  
  
Rinoa listened to the sounds of her husband's ragged breaths as she lay there in bed with her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, though it didn't sound as steady and strong as it once had.  
  
Reality very cruelly began to knock at the door, but Rinoa refused to answer. She didn't want to remember that Squall was dying, that they had so little time left. All she wanted to remember was their night together, and their undying love. All she wanted was to hold him forever, and to never let him go.  
  
"...Squall...? You won't leave me, will you?" Rinoa asked gently, desperately.  
  
Squall felt a pang in his chest at her words. How he wished he could truly stop time, holding everything still in that moment. "...never...my angel..." he whispered in reply. "...I'll...never...leave you..." A tear ran down Squall's cheek. He knew it was a lie. He could feel himself slipping away. "...I...I love you...Rinoa...my angel...my beautiful...my..." he broke off, losing himself to his tears, sobbing as he clung to her. Oh, how this pained him, how he suffered knowing he might leave her at any minute.  
  
Rinoa just held him tighter, digging into his chest all the more. "Don't cry...don't cry..." she whimpered. "I love you, Squall. I'll always love you. Stay with me...please..."  
  
(Oh, God...) Squall thought bitterly. (Why? Why give me this time with her only to rip it away? What have I done?)  
  
But at that thought, Squall nearly shook his head, knowing that going down that path again was foolish. It wasn't because of something he had done, it just was. He couldn't change that, as much as he wanted to. Nothing could. Not even all powerful Love. No...though Love's power is great, the greatest, its only power here was that it would not die with Squall. Their love would survive beyond time, and somehow, that had to be enough.  
  
"...I will never leave you...Rinoa..." Squall whispered. "...I will always be with you...my love..."  
  
"I know, Squall," she whispered back. "I know,"  
  
-----  
  
Dawn was fast approaching, but the sun did not shine. The storm refused to pass, for it had good reason to remain.  
  
Rinoa blinked her tired eyes as she awoke, digging into Squall chest a little more in defiance to rising with the coming day. As she did so, however, a startling realization struck her. He felt so terribly cold...  
  
She jerked her head up suddenly, looking down at his still form. His skin held no color, his chest had ceased to rise and fall with his breath, and...she had heard no heartbeat pounding within his chest.  
  
(No...) she thought tragically in disbelief. (God, no...please...it can't be...)  
  
"Squall?" she squeaked out, tears forming fast in her brown eyes. "Squall? Squall?! Squall?!?!" she shouted, shaking him desperately.  
  
He did not stir.  
  
Rinoa couldn't believe it, she refused to believe it. She broke down completely into tears, and began pounding Squall's silent chest with her fists. "No! Squall!!" she screamed. "Squall...please don't leave me alone...don't leave me, Squall. Squall!!"  
  
But it was too late. There was nothing she could do. No matter how hard she pounded, how loud she screamed, he could not answer her anymore.  
  
Lost in her tears, she brushed a lock of Squall's soft, brown hair out of his face, bending close to him to kiss his cold mouth one last time with trembling lips. "....I will always love you...my brave, beautiful lion..." she whispered, after releasing from the kiss. "I will always love you,"  
  
-----  
  
Merciless. The wind, the rain, the bitterness hanging in the air. All of it was unbearably merciless that day--cold, unfeeling, and filled with utter despair. The sky wept tears of sorrow days after the death of its warrior, a man who once saved the world. He had some of the most amazing dear friends ever created in this cruel world, a wonderful father, a cherished true love, his wife, and so much of himself that for so long had been lost. He had everything a man could ask for, and in a single breath it had all been ripped away. How dreadfully unfair. But, then again, life isn't fair, is it? We may wish upon every star in the heavens that it could somehow be fair, but it never will be. Our only hope, our only defense, is love. Love cannot defeat death, but it can survive despite it. Love, hope, the promise of tomorrow, that is what was dwelled upon those days following such a tragic, young death. They wouldn't have had it any other way.  
  
It was a very memorable funeral. Some would think the whole world had shown up, so many people filled the ballroom of Balamb Garden that day. Edea gave the ceremony, of course, Quistis gave the eulogy, having known Squall the best, and many others went forward to say their own words about such a remarkable man. There were tears, but much laughter as well, for many fond memories were shared, most having occurred during the past year.  
  
It had been disputed a bit over how and where Squall should be buried. Some said he would have liked to be cremated, with his ashes spread out over the flower field behind the old orphanage. Others thought he would have liked to be buried with all the SeeDs who had lost their lives during the battles with the sorceress. But Rinoa had the final say, for she knew how Squall had truly wanted it to be. To rest beside his mother in the fields beyond Winhill.

No one spoke against it.  
  
Rinoa and the others took comfort in each other's company, and didn't feel quite as hopeless and lost as they had expected. They knew he was still there, watching over them as he had promised.  
  
Laguna returned to Esthar, and Caraway returned to Deling City, but both found themselves within the walls of Balamb Garden quite often. Rinoa stayed at the Garden with the others, thriving as a SeeD, and as an instructor to the younger classmen. Irvine kept his promises, getting his license, behaving himself, and growing ever closer to Selphie. Selphie kept hers, throwing an amazing Garden Festival in Squall's honor, and keeping Irvine in check. Zell had a few shaky first days as SeeD Commander, but he pulled through, proving to be the best man for the job with Quistis as his first officer. Seifer acted as a sort of right-hand-man for Zell, as well, and didn't even think about going back on _his _promise to Squall.

As for the rest, life went on, even a little unexpectedly.  
  
-----  
  
"How are you today, Squall?" Rinoa asked sweetly. "Keeping an eye out for me through those storm clouds overhead, right?"  
  
She stood in a vast field, smelling madly of wildflowers. In front of her were the gravestones of Raine Loire, and her son, Squall Leonheart Loire. Rinoa came there as often as she could to talk with Squall. It hadn't been all that long since he had died, a few weeks only. She had visited just the day before, but had returned today for a special reason.  
  
"I saw Dr. Kadowaki today," she began, sitting down in the grass. "I've actually been suspecting this for a while now, but I finally know for sure," Her smile broadened, and she passed a hand lovingly over Squall's gravestone. "You're going to be a father, Squall," she continued, beaming. "Isn't it wonderful? I know you're probably worrying about the baby inheriting your disease, but you don't have to. The doctor said that it's impossible for the defective gene to be carried over to our child, because I'm the sorceress. I was so happy when she told me. I wish you didn't have to watch over us from so far away, but you'll always be with us, won't you? Loving us no matter how long it takes us to reach you again..."  
  
A gust of wind blew past Rinoa, rustling her hair playfully, and an echoing thunder rolled passed in the distance. Rinoa understood Squall's answer. He would always be there, always watching, always loving, living on through his loved ones, and through the storm.  
  
-----  
  
Five years have passed now since the death of an unforgettable lion, but he does indeed live on. Through friends, his father, his wife, and his daughter, Gale.  
  
Four figures stood before the graves of Squall and Raine Loire one overcast day. No tears were being shed, no sorrow filled their hearts at all. They smiled, talking with their lost loved ones as they often did, their hearts filled with love and hope for another day.  
  
"We should be going, dear, if we're to make it to the party on time," President Caraway stated warmly.  
  
"I know, dad. You're right," Rinoa smiled in reply. "I'll see you soon, Squall, Raine. I love you," she added, turning back towards the Ragnorok. Laguna placed an arm lovingly on her shoulders as they headed back up the hill.  
  
"Perfect day, isn't it?" he said brightly. "The sky after a summer storm always reminds me of Squall's eyes...his mother's eyes..."  
  
"Yes..." Rinoa agreed thoughtfully. "This was always Squall's favorite type of weather."  
  
"Ummm...dear?" Caraway started carefully. "I think we're missing someone,"  
  
Rinoa stopped, turning back to face down the hill. Gale still stood before the graves, gathering flowers in her delicate, little hands. She had her mother's raven hair, which flowed like waves down her back, and like her father and grandmother, she had the most beautiful, large, blue-grey eyes.  
  
"Gale!" Rinoa called tenderly. "Come on, sweetheart! You don't want to be late for Auntie Quisty's baby shower!"  
  
Gale turned her head towards them, a large grin on her face. "I'm coming, Mama! Just a minute longer!"  
  
Rinoa smiled down at her. "Alright, honey, but not too long!"  
  
She turned back, and the three of them continued up the hill.  
  
"Quistis told me the most wonderful news yesterday," Rinoa said, taking both of her fathers' arms. "Turns out, she's having twins!"  
  
"That's wonderful!" Laguna proclaimed. "Does Seifer know yet?"  
  
Rinoa giggled. "Nope. She's going to surprise him with it today,"  
  
The older men chuckled.  
  
"My, my," Caraway grinned. "That _will _be a surprise,"  
  
They laughed again, trudging the last few steps up the hill.

Below them, Gale had finished collecting flowers, and her arms were completely filled. "Such pretty flowers grow here, Daddy," she said. "I know it's all 'cause of yoo and Gramma, too!"  
  
She bent to place some on Raine's grave, the rest on Squall's, keeping only a few for herself.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll be sure to give some to Auntie Quisty and Uncle Seifer!" she beamed.  
  
"Gale!" she heard her mother call again.  
  
"Oh, I better go!" she exclaimed. "We'll come back soon. Goodbye, Gramma. Goodbye, Daddy," she brought her small fingers to her lips, and then touched them gently to the gravestones.  
  
A small gust of wind rustled through her hair, and she felt a tiny drop of rain fall upon her nose.  
  
"I love yoo, too, Daddy," she whispered, giggling. Then, turning around, she bounded up the hill to join the others.

owari  
  
A/N: (sniffling) That's it. It's over. I'm finally finished. I hope all of you can accept how it ended, because to me, this was how the fic was meant to be. I beg of you to tell me what you thought! I love it, but I need to know the reader response. You've all been so great, and I love you all. It warms my heart, and yet I'm so sad that it's all over. (sigh) Well, till next time, everyone.

Crimson


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